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- Serb dictator a traumatized yout'
- After pondering the problem for about 15 seconds, we believe the reason for the Kosovo holocaust is Slobodan Milosevic's folks.
- We believe the Serbian socialist dictator suffered trauma when he first became aware of his name, Slobodan. His name never sounded any better as years went by. People would have to wipe their mouths after they said it, and try not to snicker.
- "Slobodan, darling, you silly boy," his mom would say as Slobodan shot at the neighbor kids.
- "Why is he so mean?" his father would ask, as he thumped Slobodan on the ear.
- "OW! It's because you named me Slobodan!," Slobodan cried as he clapped his hand to the side of his head. "I have no self-esteem! You could have named me Bill, or George, or anything but Slobodan!"
- "The kids call him Slob for short," his mother said. "Maybe we should have named him Ray, after his uncle."
- "What's wrong with Slobodan?" his father snorted. "At least it has some vowels. We could have named him Grlmpskpft! After your dad! Har Har Har!"
- "Well, Milosevic isn't such a presidential name either," said Slobodan's mom. "Milosevic sounds like something you'd take with chemotherapy."
- "So you like names that roll off the tongue, eh?" said dad Milosevik.
- "Adolph Hitler. Now there's a fine sounding name. He could be a famous artist or a benevolent president with a name like that," said mom.
- "Nah, too easy. I like Slobodan Mislosevic," dad said. "He'll have to learn to spell it the same way twice. Then he'll have to take taunts from his classmates. It'll make him smart and tough. You'll see," said dad Milosevik.
- "Nobody is gonna become president with a name like Slobodan Milosevic," said mom, wiping her mouth on a hanky.
- "You'll see," said dad.
- --LA